Jaded: a botanical thriller

Shannon and Jocelyn meet. Jocelyn admires Shannon’s magnificent and wonderfully-lopsided jade plant. Shannon announces that she is moving away from Nyack, all the way to Colorado. Jocelyn is disappointed, since they only just met.

Shannon kindly offers to leave her jade plant behind in Jocelyn’s care. Jocelyn is thrilled, but she wonders if she has a green enough thumb to keep it thriving. Then again, it’s really her husband who has a knack with the plants: surely he’ll find the right water/don’t water schedule that she has never been able to master.

Shannon mentions that the plant could probably be re-potted in order to get it more on the straight and narrow. Jocelyn fears that this might not turn out well, so they keep it as is and watch it slowly creep more to the side of the pot.

Jocelyn wonders with suspense: Will it tip over? Will it hop out of the pot at night to sneak around and make scary monster shadows on the wall above their bed? Or will it simply walk out the front door, and hitch hike across the country to reunite with Shannon?

Only time will tell: for now, it just looks so perfectly, well…jaded.

Categories: Garden, Shelter

Tagged as: , , , , ,

10 replies

  1. It’s beyond hope – you’re not going to get it to straighten out now. Maybe if it was your own plant, and you weren’t afraid to cut it back severely, and if you could place it in a window sill with the undeveloped side facing the light, and if you could buy a new plant, slip it into the pot instead of hope the owner won’t notice…

    • ha! sounds like you know your plants – we did face it away from the window for a while, but he looked strange – it was like talking to someone with his back turned (only really done with panache on soap operas,,,)

  2. …the “right water/dont water schedule” line just made me giggle…you are too funny girl!
    good luck with your plant…I am trying to become a green thumb myself.It is a real skill:)

  3. It is magnificently green! I have never seen a jade plant trail like that. Maybe you can find a plant stand that will hold the base and prevent any possible tipping.

  4. Do you think it is walking around with the gnomes at night? Any signs of unexplained dirt trails perhaps? Unfortunately, I can’t lend any plant expertise, but I like the “talking to someone with his back turned” visual!

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