First of all, I just want to offer a general thank you. We are flattered that you consider our humble lawn worthy of your refuse. We knew, when we bought a house on a relatively busy street, that we would deal with some traffic and a bit of noise, but we had no idea that we would regularly receive so many unexpected gifts!

Ours is a nice neighborhood filled with good people and well-manicured properties. We are lucky that it has also provided so much magic and excitement. In fact, every night, we wonder: what will show up on our lawn next? There is nothing I love more than to put on my Hazmat suit and retrieve these treasures.

We didn’t notice this one for a while, in our little wooded area, and it took on such an arty patina:

We spotted this water bottle right away, but another one (not pictured) became filled with soil, and started growing some plants in it, like in a high-end terrarium. If only it had shown up a few decades earlier, it would have been perfect for third grade show-and-tell.

These showed up last summer – they were interesting and turned out to be quite helpful:

Please help me understand: how do you do it? How can you be so selfless? While I accumulate many items in my car and in my various bags, I keep them to myself, bring them home, or hide them away in a nearby receptacle, but you, you are so quick to share. I envy your sense of freedom – you truly have no boundaries!

And yet, we never catch you in action: you are as stealthy as the Easter Bunny, as mysterious as the Tooth Fairy and as generous as Santa. While my husband sometimes doubts your talents (he thinks that you are getting help from the wind) I know otherwise. I am certain that these items are not coming to us from happenstance but from the bottom of your heart.

Teach us, will you? Show us the way, enlighten us with your technique and your magnanimity. Then tell us where your house is, so that we may repay the favor, again, and again, and again. This is the least we can do.