Queue drumroll (preferably played by Animal of the Muppets). Here is the exciting news I hinted at in the last post:
My new humor book, The Homeowner’s Guide to Greatness is officially coming out in TWO DAYS. So, this Wednesday, July 18. This groundbreaking guide is my first book, very much inspired by the home tome, and I couldn’t be more thrilled about how it came out. To kick off what portends to be a whirlwind week, celebrating The Book Launch, I present a short excerpt, below. I trust that you will find this, like so many sections of the book, to be “extremely helpful.” Quotes very much intended. Enjoy!
Before Tackling Any DIY Projects
It’s admirable to roll up your sleeves and tackle projects around the house with which you have absolutely no experience and for which you have even less aptitude. In theory, “doing it yourself” is cost-effective and enriching. In practice, it is often a disaster and extremely dangerous. Remember that many of the roads leading to homeowner’s hell are paved with good intentions.
If, despite your better judgment, you are determined to take a DIY approach, even though you’d be wise to hire it out, at least do the following:
• Count your fingers, so you know exactly how many you had before starting the project.
• Put 911 on speed dial.
• Wear a hard hat even if you don’t think its necessary: you never know what could happen when sewing curtains, sanding a chair, or re-potting a plant.
• DIY a holster for your fire extinguisher so that it can be attached to your belt at all times.
• Hire a large corporate consulting firm to conduct a thorough cost and risk analysis. (In case you’re unsure where to find this type of organization, one of the more reputable companies in this business is, I Told You So, Inc.)
• Take a photograph of the project in the “before” stage so that you can show this to the professional contractor when he or she comes to fix the mess you made.
I know there are a lot of seasoned DIY-ers out there – any advice YOU can contribute?
And, with this post, we bid adieu to HIMP Month – it’s been a wild ride. Actually, it hasn’t been that wild or a ride (and it’s been way longer than a month), but it has been fun. Thank you to our guest bloggers: Tori, from The Ramblings, Leena from Bye Bye Brooklyn and Suzanne from Inspire; to breathe. Thanks also to all you readers and commenters for contributing your two cents and, most importantly, for taking a moment to hug your house.
Next up: De-sigh-n Month! Stay tuned for more info on The Homeowner’s Guide to Greatness and how you can help one appreciative author (me) become an Amazon Bestseller THIS COMING WEDNESDAY. In the mean time, if the suspense is killing you…here is the book’s website, designed by my favorite artist, illustrator, technical guru and husband extraordinaire (thanks Rob!): www.homeownersguidetogreatness.com.