what does it take to become an amazon bestseller?

broken fence 2

So what does it take to become an Amazon Bestseller? Answer: a lot of great friends, kind-hearted acquaintances and supportive blog readers! Wow – on Wednesday, the day it launched, my new humor book, The Homeowner’s Guide to Greatness, became a bestseller in the categories of “Humor” and “Crafts, Hobbies and Home.” At one point, it had an unbelievable overall ranking of 1,248 of ALL 8 million Amazon books. Check out this craziness:

Homeowners Guide to Greatness Amazon Bestseller

I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who helped out and for your enthusiasm around this project. Writing this book, publishing it, and now trying to get it into the hands of readers is the fulfillment of a long-held dream. To say that Wednesday was one of the most exciting days of my life is not an exaggeration. I have been writing since I was a little kid and my writing career has taken many forms. These latest ventures – the home tome and this book – have turned out to be extremely gratifying and…just plain fun.

In case this is the first you’re hearing about The Homeowner’s Guide to Greatness or you’re on the fence about purchasing it, (did YOU break our fence?! see above), it’s a short, light-hearted read. It’s a How-to book with a wink: you’d be well-advised to steer clear of most of the suggestions in its pages and the primary intent is to make you chuckle. Hopefully you’ll be able to relate to a lot of it.

On that note, I present the Table of Contents, below. This gives you a pretty good idea of what pearls of wisdom it contains…


Introduction 1

Chapter 1: BUYING A HOME…3
Buying vs. Renting…4
How to Find Your Dream Home…7
How to Spend Your Time While Waiting for the Closing…10
What to Do with Your 54,353 Page Mortgage Agreement…12
Hosting a Housewarming Party…14

Chapter 2: DESIGN…17
What Your Design Choices Say about You…18
Guide to Garbage Pickin’…21
How to Decorate a White Couch…24
House Plant Psychology…27
How to Know When Your TV is too Large…30

How to Motivate Yourself to Mow the Lawn…35
How to Get Poison Ivy…37
What to Do if You Find an Egg in Your Yard…39
The Finer Points of Leaf Removal…41
How to Justify Lawn Ornamentation…43

 Chapter 4: THE ART OF THE MEMO…47
Memo to the Ants in the Mailbox…48
Memo to the Fruit Flies…50
Memo to the Bunny…52
Memo to the Bumble Bees…54
Memo to the Crickets…57

How to Prepare for a Hurricane…62
If a Tree Falls on Your House…65
How to Know When it’s Time to Buy a Snow Blower…67
Before Tackling any DIY Projects…69
Your Security System: Piece of Mind and Worst Nightmare…71
Things that Do Not Discourage Mice…73

Chapter 6: GENERAL UP-KEEP…77
Daily Affirmations for Daily Chores…79
In Defense of Dirt and Dust…81
The Only Surefire Way to Get Your House Clean…84
The Do’s and Don’ts of Being Neighborly…85
How to Pick Reputable Repairpersons and other Service Personnel…88
Keeping an Eye on Resale…90


cover_homeowners guide to greatness

Purchase the book here:


(by the way, you can also get it at Barnes and Noble)

“Like” The Homeowner’s Guide to Greatness on Facebook here:

like on facebook


Fear not – I will resume writing about topics other than this book next week! I promise. In fact, next week will kick off De-sigh-n Month. Why the sigh? You’ll see.

12 replies

  1. YAY! You rocked it, lady! The book is hilarious and I’m almost through. I will definitely chat with you about my favorite “burst out laughing” moments. There were plenty! I”m loving it and hope more and more people buy it.
    How wonderful to witness someone’s dream come true right in front of you.
    I for one am giddy with it excitement for you! Congrats again… enjoy your Amazon Woman status! (lol)
    Have a great weekend.

    • Ooh I like the sound of that – Amazon Woman. Glad you are enjoying the book – can’t wait to hear your LOL moments.

      Thanks so much for the “link love” and the all the support on this – I heart this blogging community!

      Have a great weekend too – hope you get lots checked off your To-Do list – has it finally stopped raining there I hope? We had a dry spell here, but pouring now – that’s a good thing – may the grass be green again!

  2. Your post about this is way too coherent. If I were you I would have written things like: Screeeech! Aaaaaaahhhhh! Looooooooook! And considered that the most effective and descriptive way of communicating overwhelming glee.

    Maybe I missed this somewhere, but did you choose traditional publishing? Or self? Either way, how was your experience?

    • Well, picture this: on Wednesday there was lots of jumping up and down, several excited, pig-like squeals, not to mention some stupified, awestruck staring into space 🙂 Did I “refresh” the Amazon page 1,888,484 times to check the numbers? Yes.

      Self published. I wanted to be in control of every detail of this. Not that I’m a control freak (I really don’t think I am) but my dalliances with the world of traditional publishing in the past haven’t exactly been…”satisfying.” I couldn’t be happier with the decision and how it’s playing out! Have a great weekend! 🙂

  3. Congratulations! You should be proud. I posted links to your book and blog on Facebook and may have gained you a couple more readers. 🙂

    P.S. “How to decorate a white couch”… that’s the topic that first drew me to your blog. Apparently what it takes to get my attention is a large glass of red wine. 😉

    • Thank you so much Leslie! Very kind of you to help spread the word.

      White couch: ha ha! That is making me re-think the book cover – maybe we should have put a glass of vino on THAT! 🙂

  4. I’m sorry I can’t stop laughing at the chapter titles. Guide to Garbage Picking? I knew I liked it here.
    PS – I’ve just nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award! You can choose to accept or decline but I wanted to let you know how great I think your blog is. Though I have a feeling you’ve already had this one bestowed on you. 🙂

  5. So happy for you, Jocelyn!! I wish you all the best with this big adventure and I’m thrilled that it started out with a bang. 🙂

    Keep up the writing – we all love it!

  6. Yeah!!!!!! Some-one sounds happy.

    Your book is on my night stand and I like to take a peek at it again before going to bed…it always lightens my day and makes me smile. 🙂 Job well done. Lovelove

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