why you should never make deviled eggs while tending to a very-awake infant

egg half

1. Boiling water: it is imperative that boiling water does not get on, in, or anywhere near your Very Awake Infant (V.A.I.).

2. It goes without saying that you are attempting to make these tasty, bite-sized hors d’oeuvres to take to a party (surely nobody makes deviled eggs to eat whilst lounging on the couch?): It therefore also goes without saying that you are running late, in a rush, and fending off a fair amount of anxiety. After all, you haven’t exactly been a regular on the party circuit since V.A.I. hit town and you haven’t even begun to think about what you might fit into wear.

3. The result of #2 is shaky hands and an overwhelming desire to cut corners.

4. The consequence of #3 is a woefully clumsy session of peeling eggs that are still too hot, a situation that will in turn lead to:

a) Burned fingers.

peeling an egg

b) Bloody hands (as egg shell shards very quickly begin to resemble broken glass.)

c) Eggs as pocked and pitted as golf balls. (A far cry from the desired effect.)

messed up egg

5. While you are fighting the long yet frantic Battle of the Egg Shells, V.I.A. will be making a persistent and escalating eh-eh-eh sound nearby, which translates loosely to, “Please entertain me with a tap dance including complicated choreography and also perhaps a bit of melodic verse.” Since you obviously don’t have time to track down your old tap shoes, you hope that all the toys you have balanced precariously above his head will prove to be sufficiently amusing. They will not.

Ian in activity gym

6. If you use a food processor to combine ingredients instead of mashing them together with a fork and a little elbow grease (see “cutting corners,” above), you will save time on the front end but lose it again later that night when the apparatus needs to be cleaned. (Note that V.A.I. will still be eh-eh-eh-ing at that time.) (Note also that a food processor does make the eggy filling pleasingly smooth…)

deviled eggs food processor

7. And finally, the main reason you should never attempt to make deviled eggs while tending to a very awake infant, is that you probably haven’t had time to eat a proper meal today (okay, maybe for a few days) and you will therefore desperately want to treat yourself to a sample. This is impossible if you want to arrive at the party with a full dozen, or 24 halves, the pre-prescribed number of egg divots in the niche platter you got for a song at a Crate and Barrel outlet a while back.

deviled eggs

Take heart: while you may be a little worse for the wear, your eggs can still turn out delicious. As a matter of fact, isn’t that one of the earliest new parent-lessons? Difficult but good. Very good.

FYI – I used this very standard recipe; the one that came up first when I searched the internets. My only addition was dill, both in the mix and as a garnish. Have you ever made deviled eggs? Anyone else find it difficult to cook with a kid? (I know, rumor has it that it’s only going to get more challenging once he is actually mobile!)

24 replies

    • ha ha! hailstorm, dig it. I think my blood pressure rose several notches and I sprained my brain thinking that there has got to be a better way…I did notice that it got easier as they cooled down a bit.

  1. love the image of deciding between finishing the eggs or tap dancing including complicated choreography and also perhaps a bit of melodic verse to entertain the little guy…chaos at its finest.

  2. Even when I have all the time in the world and no children to entertain, my hard boiled egg peeling technique is much like yours. Golf Balls. Thankfully nobody ever complained.

      • You’ve just come up with the next million dollar idea.
        Although now that I think about it there is something that you crack eggs into and can cook them in egg shape. Eggies? I’ll have to look into that.

    • Why thank you. It was kind of a hair-brain idea – I suppose I could have shown up to the party with hummus and chips, but that’s just not how I wanted to roll that day (maybe I wanted to prove to myself that I could still make a little magic in the kitchen even though I have the kiddie… ) 🙂

  3. The eggs look great, but more importantly VAI is absolutely adorable.

    I have to confess that the last time I made devilled eggs it was precisely for the reason you describe as no one ever doing it!!

    • Thank you!

      Oh wow, so I stand corrected. How decadent/cool/ambitious of you. If I ever recover from this attempt maybe I’ll follow in your footsteps (slippers…) 🙂

      • Slippers! 🙂

        You have the VAI, I just have two Very Rambunctious Puppies. My life is not as hectic as yours.

  4. I only discovered deviled eggs two years ago. Gasp! (Coming from a Puerto Rican family we had other yummy treats to enjoy). I’m now hooked, so no matter what the outcome…they look good to me! And you gets points for even attempting making anything for a party while your son is under 5 years old!!

    • ha ha! I know, they are so tangy and they present very well even when they’re somewhat wonky. Yup, it turned out to be a little overly ambitious, but they did get gobbled up right away, so it all felt worth it 🙂 Hope you are well!!

  5. One time I decided that it would be a fantastic idea to roast a chicken with a VAI. Yeah, it wasn’t.

    I bought your book 😀 I am excited to start reading it!

    • Oh wow! I hope you enjoy the book! Let me know what you think 🙂

      Roasted chicken, ha! Yup, just a bare minimum of cooking/domesticity is a challenge when VAI is “in the house”.

  6. Yum!! Hindi and I made them right after Easter, what else to do with a bucket load of left over boiled eggs from a kiddie party. They were delish. AND, I love the acronym….how about CBE(cutest baby ever).

    • Yes, as a matter of fact CBE is a good one too. I think it can be used on your cutie as well 🙂 Now that is what I call commendable – “hunting” for your own eggs before “devil-ing” them…

  7. ohh, eggs can be so temperamental! i hate when they don’t peel right, ha! looks like you recovered quickly though and ended up with a a very decorative batch. i think you’ve got this mama thing down! 😉

    • In my book (though it’s not a quirky-cool vintage cookbook), a lil’ bit of dill goes a long way. That, or a few long pieces of chive and you can make anything look edible…(okay maybe not pancakes…)

  8. Didn’t they send you a memo from The Ministry of Motherhood letting you know that you are exempt from having to bring anything to any function for the first year? Seriously… as long as you bring that adorable little baby, you don’t even have to stay for the party. All people want to do is hold your VAI and fawn over his cuteness.

    The eggs look great, though. I’d be willing to bet no one had a clue that these were so tricky. 🙂 ~Danielle

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