gnome news: an interview

baby gap gnome onesie

It has recently come to our attention that a “local parent” has been foisting her inexplicable fascination with garden gnomes onto her young son. Because we are hard-hitting journalists specializing in breaking news of a…gnomey nature, we decided to go straight to the source — we are proud to announce that we scored an exclusive interview. Our subject is Ian, pictured above, who is now almost six months old, and obviously wise beyond his years.

The Home Tome: Is it true that your mother has been gradually and not so quietly amassing a collection of garden gnomes both inside and outside of her home for a few years now, thereby confusing her friends, family and most of all her devoted husband?

Ian: As per our agreement, I am not going to comment on things that happened before I met her. (*Note: some translating was required.)

THT: Fair enough. We understand that a large national retailer is currently selling onesies featuring the outline of a small yet congenial gnome with the word “hello there” printed beneath. We further understand that as soon as your mother’s friend Fiona tipped off your mother to this fact, your mother dropped everything, and rushed immediately to the mall. We heard that she was frantic and foaming at the mouth.

Ian: I am glad you asked this because I’d like to take this opportunity to clear up some misconceptions. She, in fact, did not “drop everything,” nor did she drop me as some news sources have alleged, but she did arrive at the mall early the next day and was the first customer to enter the store after the door was unlocked. That “foam” on her mouth was just a little mis-directed frappaccino.

THT: Did she proceed to purchase this onesie even though you already own a piece of similar clothing featuring a similar character?

gnome onesie uncommon goods

Ian: That is the case. But she procured this second one with the help of a gift card and she led me to believe that this was basically the same as getting it for free.

THT: We have it on good authority that she has even instructed one of her  gnomes to mentor you in gnomey ways. Is this the case?

Ian: I cannot deny this.

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But it sure beats algebra lessons.

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And I schooled him a little bit too.

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What do you think? Am I wrong to inflict this obsession hobby on my son? Okay, maybe don’t answer that…

Hope your own gnomes (garden gnomes, crib gnomes, all kinds of gnomes) are getting a great start to the summer!

26 replies

    • Yes, he can’t wait to meet you too! He may or may not be wearing gnome clothes. Our garden gnome has requested to join us in Kansas City – I have agreed that he can come as long as he pays for his own plane ticket. 🙂

  1. Have to agree with Leslie… “mis-directed frappaccino” made me laugh out loud! Brilliant. Oh, and the little guy being interviewed is rockin’ the gnome style.

  2. So in love with Ian!! You are a riot as well! I am sure all of your readers will be on the look out for all cute things gnome and will send them your way!! XO

  3. We have looked at these pictures over and over tonight. And we keep saying “WHAT A CUTE BABY!” Love this blog.

    On Wed, Jun 19, 2013 at 8:50 AM, the home tome

  4. Dang that kid is cute!!! I know you’ve never heard that before. (wink!)
    I personally think that Ian totally approves and supports your gnome obsession. I mean hobby. After reading the interview the kid clearly knows how to speak his mind so I feel he’d be totally honest with you about the whole thing. He clearly feels very hip and fashionable in his gnomey gear.

    • ha ha! yes, I’m really glad he can speak his mind – it’s so nice to know that he feels comfortable sharing with me and my readers 🙂 Now, when he’s 16? He might not let me put him in a gnome onesie anymore…but we’ll see 🙂

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