for father’s day I tried to be less of a ‘but’head

father's day The Home Tome

I try to be a positive, fun-loving person. I try to be open to new experiences and go with the flow. And I generally succeed at this. Sometimes, however, I am a real buthead. And by this I mean that I say, “but” a lot. Usually, this has to do with excursions/day trips/adventures that take us out of the house and out of our community i.e. journeys that require a bit of extra effort. My husband, on the other hand, loves this kind of thing, the more spur-of-the-moment, the better. We are quite different in this way. It’s possible that I am simply lazy. And that I am also a butthead with two ‘t’s, but that’s a whole other story.

For example, on Father’s Day, we had no plans – we’d just returned from our annual trip to Cape Cod the day before. I asked my husband, “What do you want to do today?” and I was prepared to go along with whatever he wanted. So when he suggested we go to the beach in Connecticut (about 45 minutes away) what I said out loud was, “Okay!” What I said in my head was:

But we’ve only half-unpacked the car and I don’t know where anything is…

But there’s probably going to be so much traffic today…

But our son was sitting in the car for six hours yesterday, I don’t know if we should expect him to sit for a long car ride again…

But the beach is probably going to be so crowded…

But (and I knew I was really jumping the shark on this one, but hey, it went through my mind) my beach cover-up is so wrinkled…

I am happy to report that I didn’t say any of this – which is solid proof that I am progressing as a human. I am also happy to report the following:

All of our beach stuff was already in the car so we didn’t have to pack it…

We had zero traffic and got there quickly with our son contentedly vrooming a firetruck up and down his legs the whole time (there may also have been some family car-dancing to the CD from his music class)…

At 12 noon we were miraculously the first people in the parking lot (of course the buthead in me thought immediately that it must be closed)…

beach with daddy

We had the beach completely to ourselves for a while…

on the beach

Nobody laughed or pointed with horror at my wrinkly cover-up (that I am aware of anyway) and, in fact, the wrinkles smoothed themselves out pretty quickly…

no more wrinkles

We had a few idyllic hours on the beach; this was a perfect little extension of our vacation before getting back to reality. My husband and my son were in heaven. And yes, so was I…


Thank you Rob for helping me to be less of a buthead, for putting up with me so patiently when I am, and for spearheading activities like these that make our family life so sweet.


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8 replies

  1. Being a “but’head” in the corporate world is called “troubleshooter”. And I think all us Moms think like this! Happy Fathers Day!

  2. I’m the same way! I’ve tried very hard to change this, because I notice my 12 year old has started making excuses for why he can’t do things, which I think stems from me being too negative. So I try to keep my mouth shut now.

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