Our mostly chill and easy-going child has begun to occasionally resemble a tiny tornado. Sometimes he whirls around our house so fast that he’s a blur. In his rush, he’s recently chipped both of his front teeth in separate incidents (first against the kitchen counter and then against the bathroom sink, a few short days later.) In honor of his safety, the safety of others, and the safety of our house, we’re trying to figure out WHY he’s spinning.
For those of you who are chuckling, please take pity on us, as we are first-time parents. We are analytical beings. We are under the admittedly misguided impression that we can maintain some modicum of control around here. [I can still HEAR YOU chuckling, by the way.] We’re just trying to guide our toddler through this new, um, “extra-active” stage, just as we have tried to figure out all the stages that have come before. Here are some of the theories we have so far:
- He hasn’t gotten enough sleep.
- He has gotten too much sleep and therefore hasn’t burned off enough energy.
- He’s not reading enough books.
- He’s reading too many books and therefore, again, not getting enough physical activity.
- He’s hungry.
- He’s had too much sugar. (In his case, that’s about five raisins, since we feed him so little sugar…everything’s relative.)
- He’s over-stimulated. (But we only have him in 14,000 scheduled activities in a addition to school per week.)
- He’s under-stimulated: maybe we need to fill his brain with more more more information.
- He’s not playing with enough kids.
- He’s playing with kids too often and doesn’t have enough alone time for quiet introspection.
- He’s drinking too much latte (no, wait, that’s just me.)
- He isn’t trying hard enough to harness the calming power of meditation and deep breathing.
- He’s almost three years old.
So, what do you think? Are we in the ball park here? Any other theories?
Categories: Parenting Humor