the home tome

what happens at home, stays at home… unless I write about it here

a constant state of massage

My neck? When I make the ill-advised decision to turn my head, it creaks like the rusted-out door of an ancient castle. My shoulders? Knots as big and dense as … Continue reading

Featured · 2 Comments

what it’s like to live with a packing tape and wire artist

If you’ve ever sat around wondering what it’s like to live with an artist who works with packing tape and wire (and I know this is happening in households across … Continue reading

March 29, 2015 · 9 Comments

our house, embroidered

Imagine your house. Imagine your house embroidered. As in: depicted in a piece of embroidery. This is what we did when we discovered the work of Stephanie K. Clark, an … Continue reading

March 22, 2015 · 11 Comments

puke happens

I wrote an essay about my most disgusting (and heart-wrenching) experience as a parent so far and it’s up on Great Moments in Parenting today… Click here to read: Puke: … Continue reading

February 26, 2015 · Leave a comment

a day in the life: today’s checklist

A Checklist: wake up to discover that you didn’t clean out milk bottle from last night, check make the mistake of sniffing it to see how nasty it smells, check … Continue reading

February 25, 2015 · 3 Comments

this is just a phase: a parents survival poem

Of course, I am not a professional poet, or even an amateur one, but desperate times require desperate measures. We are a little more than a month into the Terrific … Continue reading

February 9, 2015 · 14 Comments

10 rules of cauliflower “pizza crust”

1. The first rule of cauliflower pizza crust is: don’t expect real pizza crust. It is only by lowering expectations that we can be pleasantly surprised. 2. If you’re feeling … Continue reading

January 16, 2015 · 11 Comments

if peeling clementines were a profession…

An Acceptance Speech Wow, it is an honor and a thrill to be chosen by my colleagues for this prestigious award. Truthfully, I never set out to become a professional … Continue reading

December 22, 2014 · 12 Comments

gingerbread on a shelf

source: Hallmark We don’t have that little elf on the shelf yet, but don’t feel bad for us, because we have… GINGERBREAD. My aunt sent this Hallmark keepsake ornament called … Continue reading

December 10, 2014 · 4 Comments

the sticker report

Sticker use is at an all-time high here at home tome headquarters. This is good news for sticker manufacturers and those who hold futures in adhesives. All indications point toward … Continue reading

November 28, 2014 · 7 Comments

after I lose this baby weight…

After I lose this baby weight, I’m hoping to also take off: the pre-baby weight the trying to get pregnant emotional roller coaster weight the I’m just going to get … Continue reading

November 17, 2014 · 8 Comments

top 5 kid books featuring mushrooms

Finally! What you have all been waiting for: a guide to children’s books with MUSHROOMS. This is for those of you who decided to have kids in order to further … Continue reading

November 10, 2014 · 4 Comments

think carefully about which Halloween decorations you put up

I am not a psychotherapist but I play one on the interwebs today. Do you like to squish pumpkin goop in your hands? Have you fooled yourself into thinking that … Continue reading

October 24, 2014 · Leave a comment

crafty: diy quick leaf crown for toddlers

Let the Imperfect Crafting Games begin! This is either the beginning of a whole lotta spontaneous kid-crafting for us, or it’s a one-off. We’ll see. But the other night I … Continue reading

October 20, 2014 · 12 Comments

kitchen weather patterns: feeding a toddler

I recently learned that putting a pile of Parmesan on a toddler’s tray then turning your back even briefly to wash a dish, wipe the counter, or open a piece … Continue reading

October 9, 2014 · 8 Comments

are you drinking too much coffee?

(image source) In honor of National Coffee Day, I was just wondering if you are drinking too much coffee…Because, you know, I don’t have this addiction myself – oh no … Continue reading

September 29, 2014 · 2 Comments

the home tome’s list of banned baby books

In honor of banned books week, I decided to ban some baby books. From our collection. At least for the time being. Please know that I very much believe in … Continue reading

September 25, 2014 · 19 Comments

Edward Scissorhands please cut my toddler’s hair

image source Dear Edward (can I call you Ed?), Let me start off by saying that I’m a huge fan of your work: I have long admired your Robert Smith-like … Continue reading

September 22, 2014 · 17 Comments

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