the home tome

what happens at home, stays at home… unless I write about it here

puke happens

I wrote an essay about my most disgusting (and heart-wrenching) experience as a parent so far and it’s up on Great Moments in Parenting today… Click here to read: Puke: … Continue reading

February 26, 2015 · Leave a comment

a day in the life: today’s checklist

A Checklist: wake up to discover that you didn’t clean out milk bottle from last night, check make the mistake of sniffing it to see how nasty it smells, check … Continue reading

February 25, 2015 · 3 Comments

this is just a phase: a parents survival poem

Of course, I am not a professional poet, or even an amateur one, but desperate times require desperate measures. We are a little more than a month into the Terrific … Continue reading

February 9, 2015 · 8 Comments

10 rules of cauliflower “pizza crust”

1. The first rule of cauliflower pizza crust is: don’t expect real pizza crust. It is only by lowering expectations that we can be pleasantly surprised. 2. If you’re feeling … Continue reading

January 16, 2015 · 11 Comments

if peeling clementines were a profession…

An Acceptance Speech Wow, it is an honor and a thrill to be chosen by my colleagues for this prestigious award. Truthfully, I never set out to become a professional … Continue reading

December 22, 2014 · 12 Comments

gingerbread on a shelf

source: Hallmark We don’t have that little elf on the shelf yet, but don’t feel bad for us, because we have… GINGERBREAD. My aunt sent this Hallmark keepsake ornament called … Continue reading

December 10, 2014 · 4 Comments

the sticker report

Sticker use is at an all-time high here at home tome headquarters. This is good news for sticker manufacturers and those who hold futures in adhesives. All indications point toward … Continue reading

November 28, 2014 · 7 Comments

after I lose this baby weight…

After I lose this baby weight, I’m hoping to also take off: the pre-baby weight the trying to get pregnant emotional roller coaster weight the I’m just going to get … Continue reading

November 17, 2014 · 8 Comments

top 5 kid books featuring mushrooms

Finally! What you have all been waiting for: a guide to children’s books with MUSHROOMS. This is for those of you who decided to have kids in order to further … Continue reading

November 10, 2014 · 4 Comments

think carefully about which Halloween decorations you put up

I am not a psychotherapist but I play one on the interwebs today. Do you like to squish pumpkin goop in your hands? Have you fooled yourself into thinking that … Continue reading

October 24, 2014 · Leave a comment

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