the home tome

what happens at home, stays at home… unless I write about it here

the splinter must come out

The interloper was lodged sideways under the surface of our toddler’s palm and it looked pretty cozy in there, with no intention of budging. We had our tweezers ready, but … Continue reading

Featured · 14 Comments

hey parents: embrace your inner goof

I’m finding, lately, that parenting is a bit like performing in a slapstick comedy or maybe a vaudeville routine: if you’re anything like me, you’ll go to some strange lengths … Continue reading

May 4, 2015 · 1 Comment

a constant state of massage

My neck? When I make the ill-advised decision to turn my head, it creaks like the rusted-out door of an ancient castle. My shoulders? Knots as big and dense as … Continue reading

April 13, 2015 · 2 Comments

what it’s like to live with a packing tape and wire artist

If you’ve ever sat around wondering what it’s like to live with an artist who works with packing tape and wire (and I know this is happening in households across … Continue reading

March 29, 2015 · 9 Comments

our house, embroidered

Imagine your house. Imagine your house embroidered. As in: depicted in a piece of embroidery. This is what we did when we discovered the work of Stephanie K. Clark, an … Continue reading

March 22, 2015 · 11 Comments

puke happens

I wrote an essay about my most disgusting (and heart-wrenching) experience as a parent so far and it’s up on Great Moments in Parenting today… Click here to read: Puke: … Continue reading

February 26, 2015 · Leave a comment

a day in the life: today’s checklist

A Checklist: wake up to discover that you didn’t clean out milk bottle from last night, check make the mistake of sniffing it to see how nasty it smells, check … Continue reading

February 25, 2015 · 3 Comments

this is just a phase: a parents survival poem

Of course, I am not a professional poet, or even an amateur one, but desperate times require desperate measures. We are a little more than a month into the Terrific … Continue reading

February 9, 2015 · 14 Comments

10 rules of cauliflower “pizza crust”

1. The first rule of cauliflower pizza crust is: don’t expect real pizza crust. It is only by lowering expectations that we can be pleasantly surprised. 2. If you’re feeling … Continue reading

January 16, 2015 · 11 Comments

if peeling clementines were a profession…

An Acceptance Speech Wow, it is an honor and a thrill to be chosen by my colleagues for this prestigious award. Truthfully, I never set out to become a professional … Continue reading

December 22, 2014 · 12 Comments

gingerbread on a shelf

source: Hallmark We don’t have that little elf on the shelf yet, but don’t feel bad for us, because we have… GINGERBREAD. My aunt sent this Hallmark keepsake ornament called … Continue reading

December 10, 2014 · 4 Comments

the sticker report

Sticker use is at an all-time high here at home tome headquarters. This is good news for sticker manufacturers and those who hold futures in adhesives. All indications point toward … Continue reading

November 28, 2014 · 7 Comments

after I lose this baby weight…

After I lose this baby weight, I’m hoping to also take off: the pre-baby weight the trying to get pregnant emotional roller coaster weight the I’m just going to get … Continue reading

November 17, 2014 · 8 Comments

top 5 kid books featuring mushrooms

Finally! What you have all been waiting for: a guide to children’s books with MUSHROOMS. This is for those of you who decided to have kids in order to further … Continue reading

November 10, 2014 · 4 Comments

think carefully about which Halloween decorations you put up

I am not a psychotherapist but I play one on the interwebs today. Do you like to squish pumpkin goop in your hands? Have you fooled yourself into thinking that … Continue reading

October 24, 2014 · Leave a comment

crafty: diy quick leaf crown for toddlers

Let the Imperfect Crafting Games begin! This is either the beginning of a whole lotta spontaneous kid-crafting for us, or it’s a one-off. We’ll see. But the other night I … Continue reading

October 20, 2014 · 12 Comments

kitchen weather patterns: feeding a toddler

I recently learned that putting a pile of Parmesan on a toddler’s tray then turning your back even briefly to wash a dish, wipe the counter, or open a piece … Continue reading

October 9, 2014 · 8 Comments

are you drinking too much coffee?

(image source) In honor of National Coffee Day, I was just wondering if you are drinking too much coffee…Because, you know, I don’t have this addiction myself – oh no … Continue reading

September 29, 2014 · 2 Comments

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