minimalism no more

Posted on May 17, 2013 | 38 Comments

WARNING: The following post could be upsetting to individuals who adhere to a minimalistic lifestyle; it could be disturbing to people who prefer their living spaces to be clean and uncluttered; and it could potentially unhinge those who seek solace and serenity in their homes.

ANOTHER WARNING: The following post could be dangerous to all the individuals in our lives who chuckled when they saw the wide open spaces in our home and assured us it would never stay that way once we procreated – because the delighted cackle that would follow the words “I told you so” would be so forceful and filled with so much self satisfaction it could sprain their necks/jaws/ribs.

A FINAL WARNING: The following before and after photos may indeed be disconcerting to experience in this virtual forum, but to those of you who dare to actually cross this threshold in person, I urge you to proceed with the utmost caution and with a great deal of attention to what toy/gadget/desperate attempt to distract/or actual tiny child might be underfoot.

Needless to say, after all that prefacing…we used to be minimalists (or we aspired anyway)…and well, we aren’t anymore. I present the evidence:

ONE PART OF OUR LIVING ROOM, BEFORE:

DSCN4797

THAT SAME PART OF OUR LIVING ROOM, AFTER:

IMG_3425

ANOTHER PART OF OUR LIVING ROOM, BEFORE:

DSCN4796

FROM A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT ANGLE, AFTER:

IMG_3426

REMEMBER THE RELATIVELY SLEEK LINES OF OUR DINING ROOM/BOOK NOOK?

DSCN4804

NOT ANYMORE:

IMG_3369

BACK THEN, I’D NEVER LET ANYTHING GET IN BETWEEN ME AND MY BOOKS:

DSCN4787

NOW, WELL, IT’S A WHOLE OTHER SITUATION:

IMG_3378

OF COURSE, ALONG WITH ALL THE CHAOS COMES THIS:

ian 4.5 months

SO WE ARE HARDLY COMPLAINING…

I assume most homes take a hit when the kid moves in? And do I presume correctly that it only gets crazier from here?

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least favorite parts of my first mother’s day as a mom

Posted on May 13, 2013 | 28 Comments

wilted tulips

Pumping milk at 6:13 AM to address an uncomfortable engorgement situation.

The carbon monoxide alarm in our attached apartment going off at 6:42 AM despite the fact that we changed the batteries yesterday. Copious Googling and hand-wringing ensue in lieu of calling the fire department. (When we called them last year for this reason, approximately 14 ladders showed up and no carbon monoxide was detected).

Accidentally tripping our house security alarm in the process of going out to investigate the carbon monoxide alarm. Lurching simultaneously in three directions: 1. to turn off alarm, 2. to answer phone when alarm company calls to see if everything is okay and 3. checking baby video monitor to see if all this has woken up the baby (only briefly!)

Discovering that the eggs are past their expiration date and there is no more milk, both of which are necessary for the pancakes The Hubs so kindly promised. (He still made them but had to run out to the store first.)

The lovely tulips The Hubs picked up while getting pancake ingredients starting to wilt as soon as they are placed in the vase. (See above.)

While child is napping, getting embroiled in a confusing conversation about parenting philosophies, covering far too many topics, issues and new-parent anxieties from several thousand angles.

Very optimistically getting a babysitter in order to drive to Brooklyn in order to 1. Catch the last day of our friend Henry Chung’s art exhibition and 2. Visit The Clay Pot, the shop where The Hubs got the engagement and wedding ring five-ish years ago…this time in order to pick out something nice to commemorate inaugural Mother’s Day.  Traffic is so bad that we have to abandon that ambitious plan and turn back toward home.

Visiting a local jewelry shop instead, but coming out empty handed. (Yes, I know, tragic: please bust out the world’s tiniest violin.)

Pulling off the road to take a look at the work of a local potter: while checking out the pottery, a medium-sized dog jumping in our car’s front window and rubbing his underparts against the straw of my formerly refreshing iced tea.

Deciding that a pedicure is the only way to turn this day around and discovering by driving around in several circles that all of the nail salons in the area are closed on Sundays.

Trying to quickly write this blog in the 24 minutes before the babysitter is due to leave and somehow erasing it then trying to frantically re-create if from memory. (If only I were kidding and just adding this one for effect…)

Okay, so my first Mother’s Day as a mom was kind of a comedy of errors, a series of fails and minor disappointments. Obviously, none of it was that bad and I have to admit that it ended on a good note:

Family

Despite all of the above, I am feeling like a very lucky woman. Hope you had a great or even a mediocre Mother’s Day, or at least got a few chuckles about the ways it let you down?

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the problem with our Babyletto crib, changer and chair

Posted on May 9, 2013 | 18 Comments

Babyletto Hudson Crib and Changer

For the most part, we love the crib, changer and swivel chair we got for Ian’s nursery. They’re all made by Babyletto, which offers children’s furniture with just the kind of contemporary, sleek designs we dig. And yet: now that we are more than four months into using them, we have found each one of them to fall just a little bit short.

First, the Hudson 3-in-1 Convertible Crib:

Babyletto Hudson Crib

We appreciate the fact that the mattress can be placed inside it at four different heights, and that it can transition from a crib to a toddler bed and then to a day bed. The cool grey color matches our grey floor perfectly. BUT. It does not rock gently back and forth like a hammock in a summer breeze, it does not come with human-like arms that wrap around the child, nor does it have a beating heart. Unfortunately, it does not emit a mist replicating the mother’s scent. And it has absolutely no idea how to shoosh. If you want your child to actually sleep in this crib, you will have to engage in some manual labor first in the form of vigorous cuddling.

Here’s the matching Hudson Changing table:

Babyletto Hudson Changer

The storage space in the drawers and in the adjacent cabinet space is perfect for our little one’s onesies, his tiny toiletries, and his diapering paraphernalia. Everything is easy to open and everything’s at the right height. BUT. I must offer this important warning: this product DOES NOT change your baby’s diaper for you NOR does it it in anyway protect you from the emission of bodily fluids. We were surprised that there was no HAZMAT suit included and no hose for the purposes of power washing. The result of this manufacturing oversight has been harrowing, indeed.

Finally, let’s address the Madison Swivel Glider:

Babyletto Madison Swivel Glider

This chair is extremely comfortable, the fabric is soft (and is proving to be surprisingly durable), and the way it swivels is delightful. We think it will transition well into another room of our house once we are finished with it in the nursery. BUT. It does not automatically feed your child from a breast, from a bottle or even from a straw. It doesn’t read bedtime stories and it does not have a Skype or Facetime function built into the armrests for the purpose of entertaining the grandparents!

As you can see, it’s a real mixed bag. As you can also hopefully see, I am kidding – we have been quite pleased with this furniture thus far and so has our little dude.

Any thoughts on nursery furniture that you’d like to add?

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how to reason with a stink bug

Posted on May 1, 2013 | 20 Comments

stinkbug

In case you ever have an infestation* of stink bugs,** allow me to share some hard-earned wisdom with you.

* Infestation consists of at least one sighting.

** Stink bugs, a.k.a Pentatomidae, are shaped like a shield and apparently emit a smell of rancid almonds if disturbed/squashed/or in any way hindered in their slow crawl across your couch.

1. First and foremost, proceed with caution. These are essentially the skunks of the insect world. In other words, upon seeing one, do not screech or flail your arms spasmodically. This could result in agitation and therefore stench.

2. Be complimentary. As in: “My, what a gallant and dignified creature you are – to which Order of Knights do you belong?”

3. Act interested. “So, I presume you’re residing in the attic. What, pray tell, brings you down to the living room?”

4. A little bit of graciousness and hospitality go a long way: “Thank you so much for stopping by. May I invite you to take a look at our lovely front door? From the outside?”

5. Distract with flattery: “That is my infant son you are walking toward. He is a young human, unable to greet you with the respect you deserve. He does not yet know how to shake hands, bow, or salute. Might I therefore suggest that you take your explorations in the opposite direction?”

6. Finally, if all else fails, resort to the kindly escort. “Can I, by any chance, interest you in a ride on this nice envelope containing a Citibank bill while encased in this clean glass, through which you can see many wonderful sights, including our entrance hall and our front porch?”

If he refuses this offer, then pick up your helpless child without visibly panicking, or, eh hem…”making a stink,” and flee to another room, or another house, or another country, whichever makes most sense at the time.

***

Are stinkbugs taking over your house and your life? Have you ever squashed one? Do they really smell that bad? Have any other insects or spiders had the nerve to come near your baby?

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why you should never make deviled eggs while tending to a very-awake infant

Posted on April 25, 2013 | 24 Comments

egg half

1. Boiling water: it is imperative that boiling water does not get on, in, or anywhere near your Very Awake Infant (V.A.I.).

2. It goes without saying that you are attempting to make these tasty, bite-sized hors d’oeuvres to take to a party (surely nobody makes deviled eggs to eat whilst lounging on the couch?): It therefore also goes without saying that you are running late, in a rush, and fending off a fair amount of anxiety. After all, you haven’t exactly been a regular on the party circuit since V.A.I. hit town and you haven’t even begun to think about what you might fit into wear.

3. The result of #2 is shaky hands and an overwhelming desire to cut corners.

4. The consequence of #3 is a woefully clumsy session of peeling eggs that are still too hot, a situation that will in turn lead to:

a) Burned fingers.

peeling an egg

b) Bloody hands (as egg shell shards very quickly begin to resemble broken glass.)

c) Eggs as pocked and pitted as golf balls. (A far cry from the desired effect.)

messed up egg

5. While you are fighting the long yet frantic Battle of the Egg Shells, V.I.A. will be making a persistent and escalating eh-eh-eh sound nearby, which translates loosely to, “Please entertain me with a tap dance including complicated choreography and also perhaps a bit of melodic verse.” Since you obviously don’t have time to track down your old tap shoes, you hope that all the toys you have balanced precariously above his head will prove to be sufficiently amusing. They will not.

Ian in activity gym

6. If you use a food processor to combine ingredients instead of mashing them together with a fork and a little elbow grease (see “cutting corners,” above), you will save time on the front end but lose it again later that night when the apparatus needs to be cleaned. (Note that V.A.I. will still be eh-eh-eh-ing at that time.) (Note also that a food processor does make the eggy filling pleasingly smooth…)

deviled eggs food processor

7. And finally, the main reason you should never attempt to make deviled eggs while tending to a very awake infant, is that you probably haven’t had time to eat a proper meal today (okay, maybe for a few days) and you will therefore desperately want to treat yourself to a sample. This is impossible if you want to arrive at the party with a full dozen, or 24 halves, the pre-prescribed number of egg divots in the niche platter you got for a song at a Crate and Barrel outlet a while back.

deviled eggs

Take heart: while you may be a little worse for the wear, your eggs can still turn out delicious. As a matter of fact, isn’t that one of the earliest new parent-lessons? Difficult but good. Very good.

FYI – I used this very standard recipe; the one that came up first when I searched the internets. My only addition was dill, both in the mix and as a garnish. Have you ever made deviled eggs? Anyone else find it difficult to cook with a kid? (I know, rumor has it that it’s only going to get more challenging once he is actually mobile!)

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what effect will all this food network have on my tiny child?

Posted on April 5, 2013 | 10 Comments

i love food network bib(image source)

You’d never guess that I went ten whole years without watching television – on principal, isn’t that just precious? – because ever since our son was born three months ago, I watch TV pretty much all the time. Hey, I’ve never been home this much. I won’t go into the embarrassing details of my recent watching habits (damn you, E!), but what I have on most is the Food Network.  It’s just background. It’s visual interest while I’m doing other things. It helps me imagine all the cooking and entertaining I don’t have the time or energy for these days. And it’s company – I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that, on some deluded level, I believe I’m buddies with all the hosts.

(Okay, I confess, have been battling this particular demon for a while now. In case you’re wondering, this is how you know You’re Watching Way Too Much Food Network. It’s a handy way to self-diagnose.)

Anyway, I try to not have Ian facing the boobtube (just the boob!), but I have to wonder what long-term influence the sound and atmosphere of all these cooking shows will have on his psyche. I wonder, for example, if he will:

  • Be inspired to become a world-renowned chef? (You know I’m resisting urge to google “baby chef hat.”)
  • Learn the skills to become a successful restauranteur?
  • Speak with Paula Dean’s southern drawl despite living in NY?
  • Become the only toddler who knows the backwards fact that “pork butt” actually comes from the pig’s shoulder?
  • Get in the pesky habit of speaking in acronyms, i.e E.V.O.O.? (I think this might already be happening – he’s suddenly making all kinds of sounds – if only we knew what they are short for…)
  • Develop an incorrigible cupcake addiction? (I can think of of worse things.)
  • I think the most likely result is that he will simply have a life-long penchant for diners. Or drive-ins. Or dives.

At some point, I suppose we’ll have to come up with a television policy – a number of hours per week, appropriate programming, etc. For now however, (reaching for remote control) let’s see what’s cookin’…

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That Easter Bunny is a bad bad rabbit

Posted on March 29, 2013 | 11 Comments

Ian with the easter bunny

Let’s just say that Ian looks skeptical for good reason. After all, I learned at a very tender age that:

1. The Easter Bunny “breaks into homes” whilst children are at Sunday School and while mothers are “trying to tidy up the house.”

2. Even “chasing him with a broom” doesn’t prevent him from “hopping around wildly and hiding chocolate and jelly beans,” which are “horrible for your teeth and for your health, in general.”

3. He has “absolutely no respect for carpeting” and “tracks mud all over the place,” causing mothers to spend their “whole morning vigorously vacuuming,” so that there are “no paw prints” in evidence by the time the children get back home.

I got some updated information at the Palisades Mall the other day, though. What I learned is that:

1. The Easter Bunny now needs to wear spectacles. (Must be all that map… and GPS reading he has done over all these years in order to deliver eggs around the world). I think it’s a good look for him.

2. He’s very gentle with three month-olds.

3. By charging 1 million dollars for every photograph, he’s got a great gig going: relative to hopping, sitting there like this seems a lot like passive income. After all, it’s not about working harder, it’s about working smarter.

And it’s worth. Every. Cent.

Have a great one!

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the science of swaddling

Posted on March 26, 2013 | 16 Comments

IMG_2522Five Weeks

1. Even though you have no idea what they are talking about, trust your (extremely wise and highly experienced) peers when they tell you that The Swaddle is one of the most important techniques you have to master as a new parent.

2. Obtain swaddling gear like:

aden muslin swaddle blanket

Cotton Muslin Swaddle Blanket from Aden + Anais

And:

Halo Fleece SleepsackHALO SleepSack Micro-Fleece Swaddle

3. Birth baby. This could take a few minutes, so be patient.

4. Study the techniques of the nurses on the maternity ward. Ask the one who does the niftiest swaddle to demonstrate. Request that she repeat the process up to 1 million times if you are too tired/in shock/dimwitted to understand the fancy way she manipulates the fabric.

IMG_2176Thirteen minutes

 5. Perhaps make a diagram, especially if a) you are a visual learner b) your name is Rob or c) if you have a penchant for Adobe Illustrator.

swaddle

6. Practice practice practice.

IMG_2355Eight Days

7. Do not be afraid to pin your child’s arms down by his sides and wrap him VERY tight. Think straightjacket. Think burrito. Cocoon. Papoose. However tight you wrap him, he will still not be packed as snug as he was in the womb. For example, this stylish swaddle (done by a lovely professional photographer at Greenwich Hospital) was Obviously far too loose:

25468-4012-24One Day, photo by bellababyphotography.com

8. If you can really embrace the science of The Swaddle, then you might…you just might enjoy a full night’s sleep….zzzz.

IMG_3043Eleven weeks

Then again, you might not:

photo-13One Month

Happy Swaddling.

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laundry room button art

Posted on March 12, 2013 | 18 Comments

daily_chores

Our laundry room is a crying shame. It’s dingy, it’s messy, it favors function over style a thousand-fold. This didn’t used to bother me. After all, it’s just a laundry room. But now that I have an infant and am doing approximately 65,000 loads of laundry per week, I find myself wishing it was a slightly nicer place to be. The best part about this laundry room is that it’s conveniently located on our main floor. But this can also be the worst part, i.e. if I accidentally leave the door open when friends stop by. Exhibit A (ok, I cleaned it up a bit for the photo shoot):

laundry room

I think we’ll eventually try to spruce up this room and do so with some color since the rest of our house is mostly white – I’m thinking black and white checkered floor, kermit green walls and a royal blue washer and dryer set. I’d like for it to be somewhat quirky — why not bring a modicum of fun to an activity that can feel like drudgery?

In the meantime, I wanted to share a little DIY I tackled a few months ago that has made a just a teeny bit of a difference in there and also served to organize my buttons so that I might actually use them. (Mind you, I did this pre-baby. Though this project didn’t take long, I’d unlikely have my hands free long enough to complete it now…)

First, I picked up a cork board from good ol’ Target. I chose frame-less but you could get one with a frame or even get several squares of those adhesive ones and cover a whole wall.  I also picked up a package of straight pins – I loved the colors of these:

straight pins

Then I gathered together all those extra buttons that came with sweaters or shirts over the years (or fell off clothing and never got re-attached…) I’m thinking: even if some of the sweaters are long gone, it’s possible their buttons will match a future piece of clothing. It was nice to have a variety of button sizes and colors to create some visual interest on the board.

I planned out my design by laying the buttons in the configuration I wanted – I went with my first initial but you could do a flower, a punctuation mark or something abstract.

button board

Once I had my idea set, I applied the buttons to the board by angling all the pins upwards slightly so that the buttons didn’t slide once I hung up the boards.  (Actually, I have to give a shout-out to Rob for reminding me about a little thing called gravity…)

And voila:

button board complete

Next time I need a button, all I need to do is go into the laundry room and choose the best one. And the next time I go in there to do a few loads of wash, I can look at this board and pretend that this is a fun place to be…

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taxi, please!

Posted on March 6, 2013 | 30 Comments

IMG_2935

So the theme of Ian’s nursery has turned out to be Nature and City: this wasn’t intentional but this is how it evolved. And I suppose it’s not that surprising…

For those of you who don’t know, Rob and I met when I was living in Manhattan and he was located in the South Bronx. We lived together in the South Bronx for a while before moving to the Nyack area, which is about 45 min from NYC. We are now excited to share both urban and suburban experiences with our son. In other words, we hope to keep enjoying all the great green space out here AND we intend to take him in to experience the art, food, music and general vibe of New York often.

Before I met Rob, I lived on the Upper East Side, on 75th Street between 1st Avenue and York. This means that I lived relatively far from any subway stations. It took me 12 minutes to walk to the 77th and Lexington Avenue stop. This isn’t that big of a deal UNLESS you are: 1. trudging through slush and snow 2. attempting to wear high heels 3. trying to not break a sweat 4. running very very late 5. nursing a bum knee/ankle/shoulder/pinky finger 6. carrying way too many bags filled with bricks.

Suffice it to say that I was usually dealing with at least five of the above conditions on any given day. This is why I often ended up hailing a cab. This is, in turn, why I often found myself bemoaning the price of cab fares to my mother while we were blabbing on the phone. And finally, this is why she took it upon herself (I swear I wasn’t angling for this) to occasionally drop cab money in the mail for me.  It was usually a 20 spot (or in her words, a “Jackson”) and was indeed spent rather quickly as I made my way around town.

Mind you, I was in my early/mid 30′s and could afford cabs (that is, as long as I skipped a few dinners). But his was cute of my mother. What made it cuter is that she drew these little taxi cabs with colored pencil on the outside of the envelopes. I saved these drawings and decided to get six them framed for Ian’s nursery.

taxi art

I had a custom matte made at Michael’s Craft Store and I couldn’t be happier with the end result. It hangs on one end of the full length mirror we installed horizontally:

IMG_2936

Ian just took his first trip into the city this week. Considering how tucked and snug he was in his car seat, I don’t think he got to see any cabs this time, but he certainly got to hear a lot of them HONK! That’s not a sound we hear too much in our neck of the woods.

ian in the city

The crazy thing is that Rob was a cab driver back when he lived in San Francisco. Therefore, he’s one of the few city dwellers I’d met who didn’t think it was a big deal to drive all over the city and who also managed to GET PARKING SPACES (and usually right in front of his destinations). I found this to be very intrepid. Let’s just say that once we met, I didn’t have to take too many subway rides or hail many cabs. I’ve pretty much had door-to-door service ever since.

Of course, the taxi envelopes eventually stopped arriving in the mail, but I am so glad I saved them. I knew I’d want to use them some day; I just didn’t know how.

This is all to say: thanks Granny. Ian and I look at them every day an will for years to come.

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