Recently, the staff here at the home tome experienced an odd and somewhat rare phenomenon called a vacation (pronounced vay-kay-shun). If you haven’t heard of this before, it’s an interesting way of spending a few days away from home and involves all kinds of bizarre activities. The result is an altered, almost hypnotic state known as, “relaxation.” I know, the whole concept is a bit weird, and I myself was a rather hesitant at first, but I ended up really enjoying it. In fact, I think everyone should try this at least once!
Ours occurred on a stretch of land shaped vaguely like an arm flexing a muscle. Massachusetts provided the shoulder:
For hours on end, we sat in one place, staring at the following landscape:
The yoga/pilates studio there was vast. The ceiling was bright blue, the floor shifted under our feet, and the sound system was stuck on a soothing “ocean waves” track:
The telephones were very strange:
The ice cream cones were filled with tuna tartar (Chatham Bars Inn):
The coffee was green as grass:
The iced version had to be sipped with a very specific technique (Monomoy Coffee Company):
Someone decided to build a city of rock castles:
We had no choice but to purchase a funky new hat then place it on an edible rack for safe-keeping:
The chairs on one beach did a great impersonation of baskets:
We ate hot-buttered pastries filled with lobster chunks the size of boulders (Kream and Kone):
We were taunted by fries of the curly variety, and we succumbed:
We were compelled to create still-lifes featuring a local delicacy that can only be found…almost everywhere:
We discovered that bracelets in this part of the universe are handcrafted by a family headquartered in a quaint corner of the Garden of Eden:
This type of wrist bling is fastened with what is called a “screwball” and can only be obtained after waiting in a long line (off-peak), and/or after getting a ticket (July and August). We therefore understood immediately that it would be a sin to not get one:
One afternoon, we suddenly found ourselves singing an extremely mellow song involving limes, coconuts, and one very knowledgeable doctor. What ensued were several hours of trance-like dancing around the living room:
Most notably, every night there was a slide show projected onto the sky. A large disc in the distance turned from yellow to bright orange then gradually slipped into the ocean. Meanwhile, the rest of the sky exploded with all kinds of peculiar colors until it eventually faded to black. This was frightening at first, but we got used to it:
As you can see, it was all quite an adventure. I’m serious: you should also try a vacation some time!
I want to thank everyone who has been so supportive and encouraging through this process. And for those of you who have been inquiring about the rather alarming change in my appearance: it’s called a “tan” (pronounced tan). Crazy, huh?
(In all seriousness: thank you to Bob, Sandy, Jean, Marcy, and Rob for the awesome time.)