what effect will all this food network have on my tiny child?

i love food network bib(image source)

You’d never guess that I went ten whole years without watching television – on principal, isn’t that just precious? – because ever since our son was born three months ago, I watch TV pretty much all the time. Hey, I’ve never been home this much. I won’t go into the embarrassing details of my recent watching habits (damn you, E!), but what I have on most is the Food Network.Β  It’s just background. It’s visual interest while I’m doing other things. It helps me imagine all the cooking and entertaining I don’t have the time or energy for these days. And it’s company – I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that, on some deluded level, I believe I’m buddies with all the hosts.

(Okay, I confess, have been battling this particular demon for a while now. In case you’re wondering, this is how you know You’re Watching Way Too Much Food Network. It’s a handy way to self-diagnose.)

Anyway, I try to not have Ian facing the boobtube (just the boob!), but I have to wonder what long-term influence the sound and atmosphere of all these cooking shows will have on his psyche. I wonder, for example, if he will:

  • Be inspired to become a world-renowned chef? (You know I’m resisting urge to google “baby chef hat.”)
  • Learn the skills to become a successful restauranteur?
  • Speak with Paula Dean’s southern drawl despite living in NY?
  • Become the only toddler who knows the backwards fact that “pork butt” actually comes from the pig’s shoulder?
  • Get in the pesky habit of speaking in acronyms, i.e E.V.O.O.? (I think this might already be happening – he’s suddenly making all kinds of sounds – if only we knew what they are short for…)
  • Develop an incorrigible cupcake addiction? (I can think of of worse things.)
  • I think the most likely result is that he will simply have a life-long penchant for diners. Or drive-ins. Or dives.

At some point, I suppose we’ll have to come up with a television policy – a number of hours per week, appropriate programming, etc. For now however, (reaching for remote control) let’s see what’s cookin’…

10 replies

  1. You have me chuckling while ironing…which is no easy feat since I hate to iron. Your humor is a treasure Ian will adore as he gets older.

    • I know – unless you completely get rid of the thing, it is difficult to avoid! So glad that it is getting nicer out here in NY – now we can go outside more!

      Can’t wait until he is old enough to cook with me – I am sure we will pretend that we have a food network cooking show… πŸ™‚

  2. EVOO…VERY FUNNY….I had just learned what this stood for about a month ago. I guess that shows how little I know about cooking. Beef stock anyone?

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