Please know that I very much believe in reading and reading with kids. I think the bumper sticker on my car (above) adequately proves this.
In fact, though I haven’t done the actual math, we may have spent billions of dollars on books since our son was born. While we’ve cut costs in other areas, the writer in me is compelled to support authors, book stores, and the book industry. We also take lots of books out from the library and have, to my horror, mangled a few along the way.
The point is that there’s a lot of reading going on here and a whole lot of love for books, so I don’t feel bad bashing just a few titles. Here are a few I have banned from our house:
Chill out, little dude. Take your aggression down about fifteen notches and stop picking fights. Maybe consider some deep breathing or meditation exercises and then attempt a calm convo based on mutual respect. While the artwork in this book is beautiful, the testosterone is not. Of course, in the end, this feisty bug gets exactly what he deserves, i.e. swatted across the land by a huge whale, but last I checked, two wrongs do not make a right.
Instead, we are big big fans of Carle’s Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do you See?, and corresponding Panda Bear… and Polar Bear…
Basically, the whole reason I birthed a child was so that I could read this book to him. I mean, green eggs! Green ham! And in all kinds of crazy locations! I can’t think of anything more silly or delightful. That is, until I read it as a mother of a toddler who is trying to teach her child the beauty of eating a variety of foods THAT ARE GREEN. Of course, the main character does eventually eat and enjoy the green eggs and ham but only after several pages of demonstrating how fun it is to reject them.
Instead: Dr. Suess’ Book of ABC, Oh the Thinks You Can Think, etc. etc.
If I have any say in this, and I’d like to think I do, my son will never again see this book about a bunny who runs away from his mother. Once was enough. Because I know the power of books. And I know the power of suggestion. I don’t want my sweet, sweaty, cuddly little ball of love to get any ideas.
Instead: Wise Brown’s Goodnight Moon, again and again and again for eternity…
***
How about you? What beloved kid books do you dislike?
For more home tome, follow me on FB and Twitter
Share this:
Categories: Kid Products, Parenting Humor
Love this post – so true!!!
Half way through the book you don’t like: “okay…let’s just look at these pictures….” 🙂
I’m glad Goodnight Moon is on the keeper list! 😉
Oh yes, this is a FAVORITE. We read this every night for several months in a row. I have it memorized (and Ian probably does too) – it really is a beautiful book. Thank you so much 🙂
We have banned any Caillou books from our home. The little kid is just so annoying and either gets what he wants by whining or throwing a tantrum. That, plus it’s just plain creepy that at 4 years of age is as bald as he was as a baby.
ha ha! for all my “big talk” about reading every baby book in the universe, I don’t know any of those Calilou books, but sounds like that’s okay… 🙂
You don’t know Caillou? You are sooooo lucky! May you never cross his path 😉
Caillou is Canadian — maybe that’s why. If they haven’t exported the TV show your way, you are lucky!
ahhhh, I see. It could be on here…we are avoiding the TV as much as possible. Read: watching a few shows way way way too much. 🙂
my kids are 49 & 46, & I can still recite Green Eggs & Ham from memory! thanks for the plug; we still put Edith Wharton’s “Summer” in our beach reads section
ha ha! yes, I assume we will be reading this a lot in the future… 🙂 Ahhh “Summer”…what summer is all about 🙂
So bad are some books I used to ad lib mid read to make them better. And then put them in my donation pile in the basement never to be seen again. I also went so far as to pre read as she for bigger. Bad kids books abound. Love the post♡
ha ha! yup ad-libbing off the cuff – so funny. Gotta stay on your toes and be creative every moment on this job 🙂
Can we please add “Noisy Nora” to the list too? I was halfway through the book and really liking it until Nora’s sister calls her dumb. My 2.5 YO can’t unhear that word and resists my insistence that “silly” is an adequate synonym.
oh yikes. will steer clear of that one. Thanks for the heads up.
If only there were a rewind button in life…I have to wonder this way too often.
A little book we got from library (I think they were some classic rhymes) said an elephant was fat…didn’t think we needed to learn that word yet. 20 m.o. didn’t latch onto it, but didn’t read that word the next time around 😉
Ha ha! I’m with you on Runaway Bunny. And I wasn’t so sure about Green Eggs for the same reason but Nora is OBSESSED with it and has started to memorize it! I think she thinks the grouchy guy is funny. But she also says “I like green eggs and ham whenever we read it” so she might be old enough now to get it. I find myself skipping over certain words when I’m reading books too– didn’t know others did that too. 😉
Yes, I figure I will come around on Green Eggs once we pass through the NO phase (or the Super NO phase) 🙂
I only banned (i.e. set aside) books that I had to read 500 times in a row. My first child had a ready-made collection of over a hundred children’s books when she was born because I still have my childhood favourites as well as others I have collected over the years. I too worked in a bookstore (as I may have mentioned before?) and the staff discount was my Achilles heel!
Yes, that discount is a beautiful and also dangerous thing! The repetition is getting pretty funny (and by that I mean monotonous)… : )