Dear Breast Pump,
I am writing to let you know that I hate you with every “ounce” of my being. Not that you deserve any explanations, but I have some things to get of my chest… and fortunately for me, that’s no longer breast milk.
Of course, “heartburn” is the perfect descriptor for that burning sensation in your chest. Still, I spent about ten months or so coming up with other ways to describe this particular pain…
Sippy cups. Milk bottles. Tiny spoons. Funky bowls and plates meant to make mealtime more fun. Last night’s nasty pan still reeking of salmon. Ad infinitum. Motherhood has changed many things in my life for the better but I can’t say I’m a fan of all this new sink time. […]
First of all, thank you so much for not saying anything about my hair. Because we all know I’d prefer that it looked much much better than this. Any face to face discussion on the topic would be awkward and cause me to touch my head self-consciously, thereby making it […]
Ian, one day old /new What’s miraculous, crazy and painful ALL OVER? Childbirth. And it seems to me that every birth story has a good dose of surprise to maximize the mayhem. I recount a few of my biggest surprises during Ian’s birth over at Mommy Training Wheels, today. Check […]
image source (fyi, I did not get paid for or compensated in any way for the following post.) Before becoming a parent, I’d heard of water beds, but not water tables. Turns out this is a completely unnecessary yet wonderful “invention” for those of us with toddlers who don’t have […]
Announcement: the home tome headquarters have recently gone through a significant reorganization. This includes changes in both staffing and office space. First, we have a new CEO. He has been a strong candidate for this position for approximately 18 months and we he recently decided he is ready for the […]
This is the most tedious micro-management project yet. Except less management and more tedium. But I must [scrape] get rid [scrape] of this glob [scrape with disgust from another angle] so he doesn’t spread someone else’s mouth germs all around our house. Then again, this gum does smell refreshingly minty […]
Dear Babysitter, Hello! Thanks for coming a bit earlier today so that I could attempt to call the dentist, the pediatrician, the gynecologist and the car dealership before work without a toddler hugging my knees and repeating “readyreadyready” 1,453 times with extreme urgency and a complete lack of specificity. (Ready […]
Greetings from The House of Too-Little-Too-Late where we have very good intentions, an under-abundance of time, and a fifteen month-old who suddenly moves at the speed of light. Our previously […]
Why did I have my heart set on throwing a zebra-themed first birthday party for our little Ian? I’m not exactly sure: I do think zebras are magical and beautiful creatures. Zebras do populate many of his books. And we do wear a lot of stripes around here…But mostly I […]
1. The Joys of Motherhood Mitigated not Insignificantly by the Fears of Motherhood 2. How the Super-loud Clicking, Clanking and Clonking of our Baseboard Heating is Killing Me Not-so-Softly Despite 64,000 Attempts at Quieting It 3. The Spreading Crop of Grey Hair on the Right Side of My Head that […]
Some crazy things are going on at home tome headquarters this Falloween. For one thing, our decorative grass, above, has turned a pleasing shade of brown and sprouted fancy, fall-ish tufts. Six friendly ghosts are calling our pergola home… Boo! After several years of searching/hoping for/dreaming about weird white mutant […]
Though it’s hard to get out of the house when you have an infant, it is extremely important that you go on a date with your spouse and communicate about things that matter. Here are some suggested topics of conversation: 1. Babyproofing and the inordinate number of unsolvable dangers in […]
1. Bagel and Coffee 2. Muffin and Coffee 3. Peanuts and Coffee 4. Figs and Coffee 5. Avocado and Coffee 6. Cheddar Cheese, Grapes, and Coffee 7. Potato Chips and Coffee 8. Chips, Salsa, and…Coffee *Not sure if you’ve noticed a pattern here: coffee is a perfect pairing with all […]
Maybe I’m lazy. Maybe I resist change. Maybe I’m seeing the light on this breastfeeding thing (which I did not like at first) and am realizing how convenient it is. Whatever the reason, it has taken me a while to make homemade baby food. Instead, for the 2.5 months that […]
What did The Hubs and I know about baby products before I got pregnant? Of course, absolutely nothing. Zip. Maybe even a little less than zilch. Like most new parents, we’re figuring all of this out on the fly. Gradually, we have amassed a collection of goods for our little […]
image source So it’s National Breastfeeding Month. I have been celebrating by…well, breastfeeding. And pumping. Breastfeeding some more. Then pumping again. My goal was to make it to six months. I am now at 7.5 and plan to keep going until we hit the one year mark. I am an […]
